Experience is What You Get When You Did Not Get What You Wanted

The quote is very trite and has been used many times as blog titles (just do a google search), but it signifies my current mood. Thus, I will also be using it as the title for this current post, although I try to "avoid cliches like the plague".

I have graduated college. I am currently unemployed. I have a long drive ahead of me back to NJ. I had such a different vision of my graduation. There was going to be a huge party with lots of booze and drugs and models, which I would arrange using my bonus from my lucrative IB entry level analyst title. After the party I would drive home and visit all my friends and tell them about my future plans. I couldn't wait to see some people and rub it in their faces. I wanted to show them all the hard work and dedication amounted to a certain level of financial success.

That was the vision. This was the reality. I spent a few days cramming for my last 2 final exams, very similar to my preparation practices the countless semesters before. After the finals I bought a 12 pack of red stripe, smoked some hi-grade, and chilled with some friends. I enjoyed knowing that these friends still had a few more semesters ahead of them, and after a few beers I made sure I made the announcement several times that I was done and they were not.

Graduation ended with a sizzle instead of a bang.

I am conflicted. I walked around campus and let it sink in that college life was over. Real life has started abruptly. Real life with real bills, real responsibilities, and real assholes. To further illustrate my conflicted emotions, I have used a chart:

Good Things			Bad Things
I will be moving back to NJ and enjoy what's left of summer			Leaving ATL, not having experienced many of the attractions of the city
I have no more tests, finals, homeworks to worry about.			I have to find a job. Hopefully it won't be a brain numbing office-jockey position.
I have my degree.			I don't have a job.
I don't have to pay rent anymore			I will be living with my parents during this "transition" period, forgoing many of my freedoms I've become accustomed to.
With no school, I have tons of time to work on many different projects.			With no school, I have no excuses on how I spend my time. My parents will be on my ass ALL THE TIME.
I will be hanging out with friends and family again. I will get some downtime.			I will be leaving a lot of friends in ATL, and I will have a lot of downtime. If I don't use my time wisely I will end up blogging as an excuse to being productive.